What is Play Therapy – Is it Just Playing?

Introduction

These are, hands down, the most common first questions that parents and teachers have for me: What is play therapy? Is it “just play”?

These are great questions! I love that people now care about what goes on under the hood in therapy. They want to be sure something not only works, but is aligned with their personal values and beliefs.

If your child is struggling with their behaviour or with hard feelings, you might be considering child counselling and play therapy to support them.

Maybe you’re confused and want to find out what play therapy involves, and decide if play therapy is a good fit for your child.  

Let’s take a quick dive into what play therapy is – and why it’s not “just playing”.

 

What is Play Therapy?

When it comes to therapy, many of us imagine talk therapy – we see someone sitting in a room, talking to a clinician who is compassionate and nonjudgemental. In talk therapy, we (primarily) use words to process things in the past and present.

Safety is the first and most primary ingredient here.

As we establish safety in therapeutic alliance with our therapist, we begin having a foundation from which to talk through our experiences, challenges, and hopes.

Whatever modality/modalities the therapy involves – from the likes of identity- and sense-making in narrative therapy, to parts work and self-awareness in internal family systems (IFS), to rational evaluation of thoughts, feelings and behaviours in cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) – all should involve receiving acceptance and compassion alongside supportive nudges from the therapist.

Over time, through talk therapy with a trusted therapist we are supported to build more helpful perspectives, connect to inner and outer resources, and begin to live in a way that makes us feel more fulfilled.  

In play therapy, the same core ingredients of safety, acceptance, compassion, and supportive nudges (based on neurodiversity-affirming, clinical assessment of needs) remain.

The key difference is that this time, we use toys and play as the primary medium!

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We use play because play is the main way that children naturally learn, interact with the world, and process their needs and experiences.

Toys are children’s words and play is their language. (Gary Landreth, one of the most influential figures in the field of play therapy)

This is how kids process their life experiences.

 

What Happens in Play Therapy?

There are quite a few different types of play therapy, so what actually happens depends on which type of play therapy or therapies your clinician specialises in. This article focuses on Child-Centred Play Therapy (CCPT), which is one of the most well-researched and effective modalities for children. It is also the primary method of child counselling in my practice.

 

What Happens in Child-Centred Play Therapy (CCPT)?

Child-Centred Play Therapy (CCPT) is a form of child-led play therapy.

In CCPT, playrooms are carefully curated, with a wide range of play materials that allow children to express and communicate a wide variety of feelings and challenges. This means having real-life toys, nurturing toys, creative materials, as well as toys and materials that are “scary” and/or support the externalisation of aggression.

When children enter a CCPT playroom, the clinician (i.e. the therapist) lets them decide what toys they want to play with, and how they want to play. The clinician skillfully, consistently supports the child’s process – we often say that the clinician is the most important toy in the playroom. Throughout each weekly session, the clinician reflects the child’s emotions, intents, and experiences to bring insight, scaffolds them to make their own decisions, and demonstrates acceptance and safe boundary-setting in the face of challenging emotions or behaviour. When needed, the clinician sets limits calmly but firmly, with no anger, and with clear consequences.

What’re the Outcomes of Play Therapy?

In this setting, children learn that they are okay as they are. With the clinician’s consistent presence, they learn to tolerate and accept their own emotions. They gain insight whilst maintaining self-responsibility and self-directedness, build up a bigger capacity to attempt challenging things. As a result, they become more resilient, and their confidence improves. They learn that others can be firm and keep them safe, without escalating emotions and using fear/anger tactics (shoutout to parents/teachers/caregivers – we all know how hard this can be!).

 

How Will My Child Progress in CCPT?

Your child will progress, usually chronologically, through 4 stages in CCPT:

1.      The Warm-up Stage

2.      The “Aggressive” Stage

3.      The “Regressive” Stage

4.     The Mastery Stage

Let’s go through each of these briefly.

1.      The Warm-up Stage

When children first enter a CCPT playroom, they begin going through a warm-up stage. The constancy of empathy, attention, and understanding takes time to sink in and be accepted.  

How long this takes differs from child to child. Some kids immediately feel comfortable enough to play freely in their first couple of sessions. Others take a longer time – up to 10 sessions – to feel safe and to show who they are in their play – this is particularly true for children with big attachment wounds.

Given that we live in a world where children are supervised and guided (often with the best intentions) more than ever, it is understandable that children may initially find it hard to believe that they can truly self-express and make their own choices without being corrected, punished, or losing their relationship with an adult! 

2.      The “Aggressive” Stage

As a child gets more comfortable with the therapist and in the playroom, they transition into the aggressive stage. During this stage, children may express aggression through fantasy or real-life role play, or through the way they challenge, compete, or play games with the therapist. This is where a child with oppositional tendencies, defiance, and challenges with anger would spend a longer time working through these issues with the therapist’s support.

3.      The “Regressive” Stage

The regressive stage goes deeper; the child now has enough of a sense of control to work on issues that are tied to their most vulnerable needs. With a deep sense of trust in the therapist, the child can now express, tolerate, and accept difficult feelings around themes such as dependency, separation, grief, protection, and self-worth. Children with trauma backgrounds may spend a longer time in this stage, processing attachment wounds. As children grow more comfortable with expressing their needs, they may also bring this into daily life outside the playroom and display regressive behaviour – parents can be reassured that this is natural and is a passing phase.

4.     The Mastery Stage

Having done an incredible amount of work, the child finally integrates these positive changes during the mastery stage. Children now display a stronger self-confidence and a more positive regard for others; they value relationships and this shows up in the way they play inside and outside the therapy room.

Outside the playroom, this is backed up by parallel changes, as the child achieves most or all of the therapeutic goals that were set out at the beginning. This often happens slightly after changes are seen in the playroom.

To ensure these changes are truly integrated, they continue to spend some time in play therapy at this Mastery stage. The idea of ending is then introduced, and children are told exactly how many sessions they have left, giving them the time they need to process the ending of the play therapy relationship.

 

Does Play Therapy Work?

Play therapy, and CCPT in particular, is a proven method that is well-researched. If your child struggles with angry outbursts at home or in school, or has high anxiety that is limiting their enjoyment of life, or is recovering from a traumatic experience, know that there is hope for them!

Play therapy has been found effective at reducing symptoms in kids with ADHD, anger, anxiety, and post-traumatic challenges.

It may seem strange to our adult brains that play therapy works at all, but it fulfils two key characteristics for optimal child development that are backed by science: (1) Play therapy fundamentally involves forming a secure attachment; and (2) Playing stimulates both sides of the brain.

Based on the latest neurobiological research, the freedom to play in the presence of a secure attachment is EXACTLY what best helps kids grow physically, cognitively, and emotionally.

 

Final Thoughts

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